Finally!
by Resevius
Summary: Set between GoF and OotP: Dumbledore told Sirius to "lie low at Lupin's for a while." Can Sirius turn his and Remus' friendship into something more - again? Mild slash and fluff.
1. Chapter 1: Just Friends

Disclaimer: The characters are J. K. Rowling's.

Finally!

Chapter 1: Just Friends

The fire was warm and its steady crackle was soothing to Remus. He leaned back in his armchair with a small sigh and closed his tired, brown eyes. In the next room he could hear Sirius moving around, preparing dinner. Remus had been taken aback by Sirius' insistence on cooking for him. He thought Sirius would have been tired of such menial tasks by now, having lived as a dog for a whole year and completely self-reliant. But Sirius had simply smiled that crooked smile of his and pointed out that Remus could use a break. Remus hadn't missed his friend's concerned glance out of the window, through which the full moon would soon shine, and agreed, acknowledging that he did feel rather exhausted.

Now Remus chuckled to himself when he heard Sirius hum a few notes under his breath, his voice mingling melodically with the sound of something simmering. He wondered what Sirius seemed to be so happy about. Only two nights before he had appeared on Remus' doorstep, shaken and agitated, and informed him that Voldemort had returned. On Dumbledore's orders they were to lie low at Remus' and await instruction. Remus knew that Sirius hated idling, preferring to be in the thick of things. He had done his best to keep Sirius occupied by taking him on walks in the woods that surrounded his home, challenging him to wizard's chess, and just talking. Gradually, Sirius had relaxed and the mood in Remus' small home was easy tonight.

Opening his eyes a fraction, Remus looked critically around his small sitting room. The armchair and couch were shabby, the coffee table scratched and worn. The only decoration giving the walls any feature was a picture of the four Marauders in their youth. Well, three now, since Peter had shamefully walked out of the frame a year ago. It wasn't much of a home (barely more than a house), but Sirius seemed to enjoy staying with him. Remus supposed these small creature comforts must be nice to someone who had been confined to a cell for twelve years, then forced to sleep on a hard cave floor for a thirteenth. His musings were confirmed by another hearty hum from Sirius in the next room.

Remus' eyes fell on a pile of blankets and a pillow folded neatly on one side of the couch. That couch isn't very soft, he thought. And it gets drafty in here at night. When he had pointed this out to Sirius the first night, Sirius had shouted him down, insisting he would not take Remus' bed. But maybe he wouldn't have to take it, Remus found himself thinking. What if we shared it? ...

Remus suddenly shook his head and straightened a little in his chair. His usual logic was returning and he wondered what he'd been thinking. Sirius and he couldn't be together again; they had clarified that seventeen years ago. He shivered a little, remembering the conversation they had had by the lake on that last summer's day of school.

Sirius had been the one to finally voice what had hovered between them for the last two weeks, asking if their relationship would continue after Hogwarts. It had pained Remus greatly to look Sirius in his handsome face and say no. Whispers and points within Hogwarts were easily ignored under the security blanket of James' and Sirius' popularity, but Remus knew that Sirius deserved better in the wizarding world. He deserved someone who wouldn't be so dependent on him, physically, emotionally, and financially. He deserved someone who shared his grace and confidence. For his part, Sirius had acknowledged that it would be difficult to maintain a relationship in such a climate of fear and uncertainty. Even having friends was risky, knowing that Voldemort or his Death Eaters could easily destroy anything, tangible or otherwise, at any given moment. The two men had parted rather amiably, not allowing their grief to create a wider chasm between them.

The following weeks had been difficult for Remus. He hated waking to an empty room, knowing that he and Sirius could have enjoyed the sunrise side by side. As he settled into his secluded home in the forest, he noted regretfully that he and Sirius could have reveled in the absolute privacy, no longer restricted to concealed corridors and stolen moments in their dorm room. The certainty that he had done the right thing and Sirius' ready agreement finally consoled him, and he woke one morning to find he regarded Sirius as a fond memory from his youth. The handful of times that he saw Sirius before Voldemort's downfall were friendly and untroubled, unburdened by the past.

When Remus learned of Sirius' betrayal that led to The Potters' deaths, he was devastated. He would lie awake night after night, wondering if Sirius' allegiance to Voldemort had been the real reason for leaving him so willingly. The hurt had festered within him for twelve years until Sirius escaped. Then, the threat of the Dementor's kiss had made Remus feel sick and fearful of his capture, and his hurt and anger were abruptly kept at bay. The revelations in the Shrieking Shack banished all traces of uncertainty, and Remus had thoroughly enjoyed corresponding with Sirius over the last year, rebuilding their friendship.

Remus relaxed into the armchair again, resting his head on its back and closing his eyes once more. Friendship, he told himself firmly. Just friendship.


	2. Chapter 2: Dinner

Author Notes: Slash. Is Sirius too sappy?

Chapter 2: Dinner

Sirius poured a second glass of butterbeer and set it on a tray next to two full plates of food. He stood back and studied the tray, smiling with satisfaction at his own creation. Finally, Remus would get a hearty meal! When Sirius first saw the measly contents of Remus' kitchen and the way his robes hung off his thin frame, his dismay drove him to send a Patronus to Dumbledore, requesting any kind of proper nourishment. Afterward, he wondered if the action had been a bit reckless and maybe insensitive in that moment of preoccupation with darker things. To his relief, an owl arrived earlier in the day, laden with packages from Hogwarts. A single slip of parchment read: "Enjoy, and may your efforts be rewarded."

Sirius had frowned at the last word. Rewarded? Rewarded with what? He furtively carried the food parcels past Remus, who was conveniently buried in a book. ... Too conveniently. A light bulb went on in Sirius' head when he remembered a time Dumbledore had caught him and Remus holding hands at school. The Headmaster had simply smiled with those twinkling blue eyes of his and walked on with a small chuckle. He had clearly approved of their relationship, was it possible he meant to encourage it again?

And should Sirius pursue a relationship with Remus again?

He mulled it over after shooing Remus out of the kitchen. It certainly wasn't a question of desire. Sirius had missed Remus terribly in the intervening years, had longed for his hoarse voice, his warm hands, his gentle kisses that were somehow given with the fierceness of the wolf within him. In that way, their agreeable separation had been a curse. It was done out of necessity and fear, not because either of them had lost interest. The feelings had never left, had not even dimmed. When Remus embraced him in the Shrieking Shack, had immediately come to his defense after twelve years of doubt, Sirius had almost been paralyzed by affection for the man. In that moment, he never wanted to let Remus go again. He wanted to grab the full moon from the sky and present it to Remus as a gift that would never again cause him pain. But there were explanations to be made, and masks to be removed, and a godson to claim. And when Peter escaped, Sirius was left with nothing to offer Remus but a lonely cave and a life on the run. It was then that Sirius fully understood Remus' statement that he deserved better. Sirius didn't even have a wand to conjure something better!

Now, however. ...

Sirius picked up the heavy tray and made his way towards the living room. The two rooms were separated by a short hallway. As he passed it, Sirius glanced to his left, his eyes falling on the doorway to Remus' bedroom. He glimpsed a handsome night stand and the corner of Remus' bed, the latter draped in a cover whose color uncannily matched Remus' eyes. Sirius shivered a little at the possibilities the two of them now having a house offered. He didn't know how long they'd be here, but now they shared a shelter that was better than a school or cave.

When he entered the living room, he silently set the tray on the coffee table in front of Remus. He stood before Remus for a moment and just took him in. He had fallen asleep, and looked incredibly peaceful by the fire. The lines of preoccupation that usually creased his face had faded, leaving a slight smile in his expression. His hands were folded across his stomach, the slender fingers interlocked.

Sirius could have stayed where he was, tracing Remus' kind features with his eyes for hours, but suddenly Remus' breath hitched slightly, and he woke with a start.

"Sirius?" he breathed, spotting him with those deep brown eyes.

Sirius grinned. "No, it's Snivellus," he joked, letting his long, dark hair fall over his face and adopting a scowl that looked eerily like Snape's.

Remus smirked, then looked at the tray of food in front of him.

"Steak," he observed, his eyes lighting up. "Rare?"

Sirius smiled proudly. "It's your favorite."

"But how did you ..."

The other held up a hand and said in his gruff voice, "Never mind that. Just eat."

When Remus looked like he might argue again, Sirius plopped onto the couch across from him, pulled one of the plates toward himself, and took a big bite of mashed potato. He chewed slowly, fixing Remus with a steely look. Remus finally cracked a smile and picked up his own fork.

A comfortable silence settled between them, broken only by the scrapes of cutlery, chewing, and the still present crackling of the fire. Sirius watched Remus become more and more relaxed, his muscles loosening, his face glowing a little in the firelight. Once or twice he caught himself staring and quickly looked away, blaming the heat in his face on the warmth in the room. His mind had returned to the dilemma of he and Remus' relationship. Friendship? Relationship? He frowned, unable to decide.

Remus, who had just taken a swig of butterbeer, lowered his glass to the table with a soft clink. "Is something wrong, Sirius?" he asked, his eyes narrowing at Sirius' brooding expression.

Damn! Sirius thought. I should have known he'd pick up on it. Should he ask him? What would he ask him? What would Remus say? Would they lose each other if Remus rejected him?

His mind drifted to the few times he had seen Remus before Voldemort's downfall. He had desperately wanted to tell Remus it had all been a mistake. He wanted to shout to Remus that his "furry little problem" was not important, that they would work around it. He wanted to hold him again and tell him that they had to stay together, or what would they have? But fear of pushing Remus away completely had made Sirius respect his wish to not be a burden.

"Sirius?"

Remus leaned forward toward Sirius, his eyes now concerned. Nervously, Sirius averted his own eyes and gazed around the sitting room. As he spotted the photo of himself, Remus, and James on the opposite wall, he remembered the day he and Remus told James about their relationship. All of their uncertainty and fear had proven unfounded. James was nothing short of ecstatic that his two best friends were together, and had threatened to jinx anyone who gave them grief.

Another memory surfaced. James was telling Sirius about his engagement to Lily. Sirius had been skeptical, reminding James that making their love official made them one unit. If Voldemort went after James, he would go after Lily, too. James had just smiled and said, "I love her, Padfoot. And I may only have today to love her. It's now or never — literally."

Now or never, Sirius thought. He understood now. He took a breath.

"Moony," he began, and Remus' eyes lit up a little at the nickname, "I ... I've missed you."

Remus frowned. "I'm right here," he stated, waving his hands a little to emphasize his point.

"No," said Sirius, barely cracking a smile. "I mean, I've missed ... well ... us."

He swallowed. Merlin! Had Remus felt this nervous before asking him for more all those years ago?

"What I mean," he continued, his voice becoming more of a croak with every word, "is you and me. Together. Like we were at school. I've missed that a lot."

Remus' eyes widened as comprehension finally dawned on him. "Oh," he breathed, almost moaning.

Sirius looked down at his hands. Then, he looked back up into Remus' blank face. A new kind of resolve had taken over him. He wasn't a Gryffindor for nothing!

"I know you said I deserve better," he began, his voice hardening again, "but I disagree, Moony. I deserve you. You fight every day against the affliction that has stigmatized you. Now I will have to fight every day against the conviction that stigmatizes me. Dumbledore will want to reform the Order, and that means bringing me into the open. Do you know how Molly Weasley reacted when she saw me? She was ready to run for help, Remus! I'm going to have to face that time and time again very soon, and I'm not going to like it. And I know I'm not going to like watching you proving them wrong about werewolves on your own."

Remus was very still. Sirius threw caution to the winds and took one of his hands, squeezing it gently.

"I love you, Remus," he said softly. "I want us to be in this war together. If Voldemort decides to wipe out all the blood traitors, I want to die knowing I shared the fight with you." He rubbed his thumb over the back of Remus' hand, one of his favorite spots. "Please, Moony?" he whispered.

Remus pulled his hand away. Shocked, Sirius let his own fall back into his lap. He stared fixedly at his knees, narrowing his eyes against their sudden stinging. He should have kept his mouth shut. He shouldn't have ...

The couch cushion sank a little and a warm body was pressing up against him. Sirius lifted his head to find his face centimeters away from Remus'. Remus looked on the verge of speech, but when Sirius' dark eyes locked with his chocolate brown ones, words became unimportant. Instead, he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Sirius'.

The dam of longing that had existed within Sirius for seventeen years burst at Remus' kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around his best friend and pulled him closer, straining to have absolutely no space between them anymore. He wasn't sure whose mouth opened first, but he could now taste butterbeer and ... chocolate? He brought one hand up to curl into Remus' silky brown hair, moaning at the texture against his fingers. Remus was brushing straggling locks of Sirius' black hair away from his face with tender caresses. Suddenly, he gave a small grunt and pulled Sirius on top of him, lying back on the couch. They were breathing more heavily now, their kisses echoing in the silence. One of Remus' hands moved down Sirius' back in slow circles that made him moan with pleasure.

Sirius was about to turn onto his side to give Remus the same treatment, when he realized that there was nothing to support him. He pulled away from Remus and began to laugh his barking laugh. Remus followed his gaze with confused eyes that widened when he understood what had happened.

"I think we need more room," he said lightly.

They stood, still in each others' arms, and staggered to Remus' bedroom. Sirius barely glimpsed the sun setting outside the window before he was lowered onto a soft mattress and Remus' brown eyes filled his vision once more.


	3. Chapter 3: Waking To Him

Chapter 3: Waking To Him

The warmth of the rising sun on his face woke Remus the next morning. He kept his eyes closed and lay quite still as memories of last night cleared away the fog of sleep. Sirius had surprised him by being shy about his body. He disliked the way Azkaban had emaciated it, self-conscious of the fact that his hair was now too long for Remus to ruffle like he had when they were young. Remus had laughed, pointing out that his own form was no more fit. His own insecurity had arisen when he realized how many new scars he had that marred his skin. Somehow, they had let all of it go with warm lips and soft hands.

Remus rolled onto his back, his right hand connecting with Sirius' on top of the sheet. Sirius' hand flipped, grasping Remus' tightly. Startled, Remus turned his head and finally opened his eyes to Sirius' smiling face.

"Morning, Moony," Sirius murmured. "Sleep well?"

Remus' only response was a passionate kiss. A simple "yes" would have been enough to describe the night before, but Remus struggled to find words that could convey his wonder at finally waking up with Sirius by his side. Words would fail to tell how it felt to have Sirius' face be the first thing he saw in the morning. He focused on their contact, letting his lips give the feeling in a better way than speech. He could feel the smile in Sirius' kiss and knew he understood.

They emerged some time later, fully clothed and awake. Sirius stretched with a loud yawn, then froze. Remus watched his lover's face split into an amused smile and followed his stare to the coffee table, where their meal of the night before sat half-finished.

Sirius began to laugh, the sound bringing life to the silent morning. Before Remus could ask, Sirius reached into the pocket of his trousers and handed him a slip of parchment. Remus read the message, recognized the thin handwriting, then stared back at the food.

"Dumbledore?" he said, raising his eyebrows at Sirius.

He nodded, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"Well, the meal — what we ate of it, anyway — was enjoyed," said Remus, beginning to smile himself.

"And I certainly got rewarded," Sirius concluded, beginning to pile the remnants back onto the tray. With a chuckle, Remus grabbed his wand from the mantelpiece and vanished the whole thing to the kitchen. Then, he stepped forward and wrapped Sirius in his arms once more.

As they brought their romance out into the hot June sun, an unspoken agreement existed between the two men that they didn't regret any of it. They both knew that the years of emptiness only served to strengthen their love now. And though the two acknowledged that there were difficult nights to come (nights blemished with Voldemort's threat, with Remus' howls, with Sirius' restlessness), they were unconcerned, confident that it would all be worth it to wake to each other in the morning. ... Finally.

Author Note: Hope you enjoyed it. Please review!


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